Following on from our post last week about bids for connection, what they mean and how they might present, we couldn’t go past The Gottman institutes “behind the bids” examples.
Take a look at the image attached for some examples of what bids for connection may look like and what the meaning behind the bid may be.
When we understand what might be sitting behind the bid we are more likely to engage in conversation to explore some of the challenges our young people may be facing.
We know that when we turn toward bids for connection we are creating a richer, more trusting relationships with the young people in our lives. We are also sending the positive message that we want to be involved in our teens emotional experiences.
Challenge yourself this week to turn towards your young persons bids for connection.
Having trouble turning towards their bid because your internal dialogue is saying “oh what now, what’s happened today, I’m so over this?”
Try the reframe, take a breathe. Instead of the tempting self-talk previously noted, try and try to reframe your thoughts by saying “they’re trying to connect with me, they need my support with something, I’ve got this!”
We would love to hear how you went. Email us at [email protected]